(… only the last of the three pictures in this is my own)

Some nights deserve to be lodged comfortably in our memories, ready to be called upon when we need to bring out a smile or get back to that special state of mind. And some deserve to be flushed out with all their residue of fear, doubt, and distrust.
All the more unfortunate that we don’t get to choose which experiences suffer which fate.
To illustrate I want to tell a little story about the night and morning Antonio just went through. Antonio, or Tony, is a small-town-kid from Michigan. He’s 23, and though it’s not for me to say, until tonight probably shy a few learnings about what lurks in the shadows of human misery. Learnings I believe just caught up to him somewhat like the bitter consequences of reality just caught up to Michigan’s big three; in a somewhat sharp tormenting thrust of menace. I can only hope he’s dreaming of better things by now, but more likely I imagine him having Elmstreet-like nightmares brought on by his special VIP tour into the bowels of Detroit.
Some background is needed here:
I first saw Tony walking about the Detroit Greyhound station at roughly 4PM today – which incidentally is the Sunday after Thanksgiving. You can maybe imagine how crowded the station was. I’d just gotten in on a bus from Cleveland, and he was rummaging about looking rather depressed, shabby, and bruised. Honestly I didn’t pay much attention to him at first. I noted his presence with a so-that’s-what-white-trash-looks-like and continued to go on about my business. That line of thought isn’t a source of pride, but between the miserable, deflated, and bent out of shape air to him, and me just having been told that my bus from Detroit to my destination of Grand Rapids had been cancelled, I didn’t get much further at first. A blizzard on the coast of Lake Michigan (the famed lake-effect snow) meant that the next bus wouldn’t be leaving till the following morning which in other words meant that I had just been left to digest the prospect of spending a night at a dreary looking bus station in a less than fortunate part of town.
After I’d feebly tried to convince the manager of the bus station to reimburse me for a room for the night I saw Tony again. With a shaky voice he asked if he could borrow my phone – something that incidentally has proven to be a popular sport near Greyhound busses – and with trembling hands he took it from me, dialed in vain and dialed again until, hardly audibly, he talked to someone for a brief instance. With the same trembling hands he gave me back the phone. His questioning eyes told me he wasn’t ready to be alone.
Here’s Tony’s story as he told it to me. I didn’t get it all in chronological order, but during the hours that followed. Here, from a bed just before midnight, I’ll try to tie it together.
So, Tony spent last night at a rock concert. I can’t recall the name of the band, but he made it sound like it had been a great success. The band was good and he told me how he’d had his picture taken and swapped email and phone numbers with its members before heading off. There was still a glimpse of happiness at the memory even though he regretted to say that both the pictures, email addresses, and phone numbers were on his phone, and that he didn’t have that anymore. After the concert he was meant to go visit some friends to spend the night. From what I understood it was his ex girlfriend’s parents, though this part of the story didn’t fully make sense to me. He didn’t seem too confident that he understood why they’d wanted to see him either, but the point was that whoever THEY were, THEY had stood him up. So, instead of meeting up with familiar faces Tony had found himself in a dodgy Detroit neighborhood late at night with nowhere to go. Here he wandered the streets a bit not knowing what to do when a few people approached him. I don’t know how many or what they said, but they seemed “alright” to him at the time. For lack of a better thing to do he followed them home and stepped inside their seemingly normal looking house. This is where the story starts spiraling downward towards a very unpleasant image of Detroit.
Tony had found himself inside the home of about five young people with an apparently well developed interest in weapons along with a strong distaste for just about everything else. I’m sure they’d have a much more nuanced image of themselves, but I think it’s safe to say that they’d fit fairly well into the category of either skinheads, Neo Nazis, the Ku Klux Klan.
In the house, next to the bullet holes in the walls, Tony was shown a number of weapons. Most interesting perhaps was the gun that one of them held to his head while sharing a passion for killing people; the same gun that the gracious host was kind enough to fire several times inside and out to prove the guns or maybe his own potency. All the while, as Tony told me the grim details of this story, the hustle and bustle of people and buses proceeded around us, and I saw Tony’s eyes flicker without focus.
Not knowing what else to do Tony kept a cool exterior while his insides were churning. He knew that he’d made a bad mistake going inside to begin with but by now his only thought was not to make himself unpopular. As a kid with black friends and even an black ex girlfriend, he didn’t feel that there would be much gained by making his own views known, so he smiled and listened, agreed and silently quivered inside at the scene that was unfolding in front of him.
At some point the night came to an end and Tony fell asleep in the basement of the house. I can’t imagine how he could sleep but perhaps the strain of bottling up his insides had left him without strength to resist. For all I know he could have also been drunk out of his senses after the concert, but he never mentioned anything to me about drinking or taking drugs, and whatever might have been in him the night before would have been ripped out of him through the nights shock treatment by the time I met him. As for the sleeping, he didn’t get very much of it. He woke up early in the morning to find his arms and legs tied, and a rope around his stomach fastened to a nearby pallet to limit his movement. As a bit of extra spice, he even found a worked up female inhabitant of the house waving a blunt sword meant for swallowing about his head, before soon after exchanging it with a real and very sharp one to better impress her guest.
This is where Tony told me that he thought he was going to die.
Again, knowing no other defense but to agree and comply, Tony bottled up his insides and waited for it to take it’s course. After some time the girl deflated, and another half hour or so later the ropes were loosened.
The girl was even kind enough to drive him “a little closer” to the bus station.
It was here, where he was dropped off, that he got mugged just a little while later. Mugged by two guys that hit him, pushed his face to the ground and took away the few valuables he was carrying. Loosing the phone with the pictures of him next to the band was one thing. Loosing his jacket was worse.
So like this; alone in a strange neighborhood with a wife-beater and a bunch of newly acquired bruises, he made his way through the near freezing afternoon rain. I don’t know where or how – some details evaded me – but along the way a woman had been kind enough to give him a coat. Thin and undoubtedly not very warm, it was in this, with his hands swollen from trying to fight back, his face scarred from meeting the ground, and a confused rather unsettling look in his eyes that I first saw him. Just minutes after he’d been told that his bus home was cancelled so he would have to wait till the following morning to see the comfort of a familiar face or a warm bed.
Given all this it’s no surprise that what he wanted with my phone was to give his father a call. And fortunately for Tony his adventures ended when his father picked him up around 7PM.
As you can imagine, after hearing this story I didn’t feel entirely safe walking to the nearby Burger King to eat my only choice of dinner near the bus station, and it was maybe in some feeble attempt to buy good karma for the walk back to the station that I found myself dining with Super Cool Johnson Junior (named after his father), a homeless man that asked me for a Whopper as a charity. After getting his treat he came to sit at my table, and with a sigh and “this is the first I’ve eaten for three days” he chewed through about half of it before carefully wrapping the rest (and my fries) for later.
I think my attempts at buying good karma worked. I made it back in one piece, and finally realizing that no miracles would save me from a night at the station I decided to make an effort to gain access to some internet. I was lucky. With my laptop in my bag and a wireless connection at the station I was capable of trying my last resort: Couch Surfing. I logged on, searched for hosts in Detroit, and within half an hour sent out mails to about 50 people begging for a place to sleep. Pretty much exactly as I sent the final mail my phone rang. I was in luck. Only minutes after I had sent a message to a host family, they had walked in the door of their home after spending Thanksgiving in their summer cottage, turned on their computer and seen my mail. And with the words “it could have been our child” the hostess told me that her daughter and husband would be there to pick me up within twenty minutes. In fact minutes later I got another call with a similar offer, which made me decide to spend those twenty minutes writing a quick mail back to the people I had just asked for help, to say that I would be well taken care of for the night.
And here I am; in a prestigious suburban home visiting Elaine, Mark and their daughter Lauren. I’m comfortably in my bed for the night next to to a little bedside table with a lamp made form old bottle-caps after a tour of a house full of atmosphere and personality. To their visible horror I told them the same story that I’ve written down here, and after much reassurance from them that Detroit was actually a very nice city, we all praised the fantastic nature of couch surfing that restores your confidence in the good of people.

I hope I remember this night and how well it ended for me. I hope I remember it just like I hope Tony is allowed to forget the parts of it that might leave some of that malignant baggage that bad experiences so often leave behind. Forget them so that they don’t leave him without some of the confidence in people that I find reaffirmed around me again and again wherever I go. The confidence that compels me to try to always open my arms to strangers, because so many strangers have done just that for me.
And why make such an effort to document all this? Well, because on this trip America has taught me that a nation feeding on fear on distrust, learns only to obediently answer that call. Detroit is the heartland of the current financial crisis. The unemployment is at a record high, companies some of which are giants in the global economy are threatened along with the jobs they supply, and average Joe’s and Jane’s are caught up in foreclosures, struggling to live on social welfare, or like Super Cool Johnson Junior, doing their best to just stay warm and once in a while get fed. Here there’s no American dream. This is America the land of the oppressed.
Fortunately I’ve seen with my own eyes the open arms of people who dare to believe that fear isn’t the only way of greeting life. So America, please stop preaching a rhetoric of fear. Allow your citizens the peace to lean back and enjoy that life was good long before big houses, fancy cars, fast careers, and brightly colored commercials were necessary to call yourself free.
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